Elite Feet

10 Signs You May Not Finish the Marathon

Chubby man running with beer t-shirt

These signs are giving me the feeling it's going to be a tough run:

  1. Breakfast...McDonalds. Lunch....McDonalds. Dinner.....McDonalds.
  2. While waiting in the start corral you are wondering if wearing a brand new pair of shoes is a good idea.
  3. Training program: 1 mile a day, 2 mile long run on the second Tuesday of next week.
  4. You realize the night before that a marathon is 26.2 miles NOT 2.62.
  5. At every aid station you take a gatorade, a water, and a nap.
  6. Your training book is "You can finish a Marathon" by Richard Simmons.
  7. You start to taper your training 6 months ahead of the race.
  8. At mile 10 you realize the pain in your chest is the sad clown face of blood on your shirt from rubbing your nipples bare.
  9. The strategy that you will be using for the race is to keep up with the Kenyans for 5 miles, bag the time, and take it easy from there.
  10. Your race attire prominently says "Beer".